i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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