Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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