so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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