There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize