Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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