I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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