I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
