problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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