my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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