I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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