just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
