How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
