week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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