talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
