Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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