i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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