We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
