So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
