i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
