Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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