dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize