Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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