Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
