my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
