I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
