Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
