I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
worst night to have a conscience
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think I sprained my soul last night
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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