I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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