hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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