That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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