You really coming over, don't trick.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
