There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
