Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
