how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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