11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
