so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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