yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
