Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
