I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
