He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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