i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
