East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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