I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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