He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
did you just send me my own nude
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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