you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
