i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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