Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
