Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'

(708): View more from Illinois

such a stalker...

(248): View more from Michigan

she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

what day is it and did you see me today?

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(914): View more from New York

She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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(512): View more from Texas

Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.

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(734): View more from Michigan

If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We're too hungover to prance.

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(727): View more from Florida

Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.

(727): View more from Florida

Anyway, how was your day?

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