I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize