Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
