I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
