if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
