On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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