I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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