i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Farmville is her only friend.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
