Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
