she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
