coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
