yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize