just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
