Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
