Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
