At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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