Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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