When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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