you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
