I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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