so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
